Old One's Are Always The Best

One day, imma gonna New York City to bigga hotel. Inna morning, I go to eat breakfast. I tella the waitress, I wanna two pissa toast. She bringa me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say no understand, I wanna two piss onna plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I donna even know the lady and she call me a sonna ma bitch.
So, I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shite onna my bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shite onna my bed. He say you better no shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.
I go check out and the man at the desk say "peasce on you". I say piss onna you too, you sonna ma bitch. I gonna back to Italy.

To Be Or Not To Be

Always wondered why I liked Stratford On Avon
now I know why

Cookster????

Did cookster really travel to work by bike? Or did he go on the train? A reliable source who wishes to remain anonymous thinks differently.